QUICK WOMEN BASHERS PT1 JOKE
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time your woman brings it to the couch.

A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman... then... pow!... it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "Ahhhh... my wife found out..."

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the National lottery!" Martha responds excitedly, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?!" The man responds, "I don't care ... just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.

A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

If your wife and your lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to the cinema?

Why have women got small feet?
So they can get closer to the sink.